WHY?!?

Kate is having a "naked on the tile" day today as a way to push her into potty training. I don't think we should have to have a day like this since she should have been potty trained for months on end by now. Anyway, I was having her spend naptime on the tile with a towel under her when she tells me her tummy hurts. I assume it is because she needed to use the bathroom so I have her go and sit on the pot for a while. She gets off and pees in the tub. (This wouldn't be as annoying if she hadn't peed on the floor in the bathroom yesterday and pooped on it the day before. Why are the accidents on the BATHROOM floor and not IN the toilet!) I go in and tell her she needs to stay on the toilet and not be playing in the bathroom. She must have brought in a spoon from Eliza's tea set because the next time I went in to check on her she is SPOONING THE TOILET WATER INTO HER MOUTH!!! No, she hadn't gone to the bathroom yet, but I haven't scrubbed the toilet this week. What on earth was she thinking? Gee, I'm so thirsty that I can't wait another second to get a drink from the sink and since I'm sitting here with water right under me I'll just drink that. I was so grossed out I gave her a couple of drops of my essential oils hoping they would kill any germs now growing in her body. I talked to her about how gross it was to touch toilet water and how you could get really sick doing it. I had to go and take care of Tanner and when I came back she had put her sippy IN THE TOILET! I was SO mad but took a few seconds to explain to her that I was going to spank her since I had already told her not to touch the toilet water and she totally ignored me. I didn't want to spank her immediately since I was mad so I wiped up the toilet and then she said, "Mom, are you going to spank me hard?" I am getting very frustrated with the messes she gets herself into. I just have to remind myself that the kids are still transitioning to the changes going on here at home since Tanner joined our family. I have to think that this is not all transition problems but has to do with my parenting. What need am I not fulfilling for her? Does she need attention so badly that she will drink toilet water to get it? I know I've been a little busy since Tanner has come, but it's not like she's neglected!