The Gift of Motherhood

I have been thinking a lot lately about what a gift it is to be a mother.  I don't know why I am blessed to be a mother and others don't get that opportunity.  Maybe because I need help in the patience department.  Whatever the reason, I am eternally grateful that I have 5 beautiful kids I get to call my own. Even on my worst day I still recognize that it is one of my greatest blessings.  (Church membership/my testimony, the Holy Ghost, my husband, my family, etc. also fall into that category.)  I would never trade my life now for anything.  I had such an incredible single life but now I love married life and motherhood more than anything. I couldn't sleep on Christmas Eve a few weeks ago because I was so excited for what the next day would bring.  I couldn't wait to see the kids faces.  I had worked excitedly for months finding and making the perfect gifts and I was just as excited (maybe more so) as I was for Christmas when I was a kid. I didn't take any thought for what gifts I would get.  I didn't even care.  The greatest gift I could get was seeing my kids light up when we switched on the living room light.  It was hours until I finally fell asleep. As I was lying there thinking about my kids I thought of how this is the greatest time of my life.  I was thinking of all the things I love about this stage of my life.  My kids are young, but not in that hard can't-get-out-the-house-or-sleep-for-more-than-ten-minutes baby phase.  My kids still want to be with us.  They will be silly with me.  They are learning to be useful.  I want to document more of these moments in my blog/journal to remember just how much I love this part of my life.  I want my kids to know how much I love being their mother and how fun it is.  I want them to know the little things that I love on a daily basis. So, here's to forgetting how far behind I am on the blog and just moving forward.

The other day I was sitting on my bed matching socks.  Since the kids had received new socks for Christmas I was throwing some old socks in the direction of the bathroom garbage, although none of them flew well enough to land inside.  The next thing I know Kelsey is chucking socks off the bed.  I was going to stop her and I gave a big sigh before I got up to pick up the socks and then I realized what she was doing.  She was copying me.  She had no idea why I was throwing socks but she was following suit.  I started laughing and then she gave her little scrunched up smile and threw the socks at a much faster pace.  She can get away with anything with that scrunched up smile of hers.

Last night Kelsey had a fever before bed. I gave her some medicine and I rocked her until she fell asleep. That is by far one of my favorites as a mom by the way. She woke up in the middle of the night and was burning up again.  I got her up and got her a cold drink and then some medicine.  I took her back to my room and sat on my bed rocking her in my arms for a minute and then I laid down.  Kelsey fell asleep right next to me. She has never done that.  She will only fall asleep in my arms when I rock her.  (And that has only been the last couple of months since I am such a softie.  I can't let go of the baby phase with her.)

I was shopping one day with just Kelsey.  Tanner was at preschool at Nancy's.  As I walked up and down the aisles I was talking to her, telling her remind me to get this or that.  I talked to her like she could respond.  Like we were buddies.  I mean, we are buddies, it's just the conversations are sorta one sided right now.  People looked at me like I was weird and I realized that I am going to miss having her as a shopping buddy.  I enjoy shopping by myself, but I can do that at night or on Saturdays when daddy is home. When all of the kids are in school I am not going to have the option to have a buddy to go run my errands and chat with me.  I will miss that.  I will miss her cute little smiles and funny faces in line.  I will miss her saying "hi" to everyone and waving. I will miss everyone telling me my daughter is beautiful. (Not that she needs to hear it anymore than she already does.) I will miss having the kids with me to excuse the extra candy I buy. I will miss my buddies.